OPEC will never have me over a barrel
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by: David John Martin
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Word Count: 499
This decision may have been the result of learning to drive in a clunky old Volvo with exhaustingly heavy steering; on the other hand, perhaps it was because the only places I could think of to drive to were pubs, and I was damned if I was going to become the designated driver now that I'd finally stopped being ID-ed.
Yep, I quit learning to drive, in favour of laziness, inebriation, and apathy. For some reason, namely being a teenager, this didn't at all seem an irrational and blinkered course of action; and despite my father's best efforts, there was no persuading me otherwise - "You might regret this in future," he told me, along with plenty of reasons why.
And he was quite right, of course, I might regret this in the future. As yet, though: nope, not at all. Quite the reverse, in fact: as I approach thirty, a carefree car-free attitude to personal mobility seems to me, instead, eminently sensible; even life-enhancing.
Granted, anyone who has ever used British public transport may find this statement, at best, barely credible, and at worst grounds for being sectioned, but so what? Haven't they got something more important to be doing than reading this? Like changing some oil, for instance? Or renewing their car insurance? Puzzling over some strange rattling noise? Or fiddling with a gasket?
Yep, I thought so. Now be off with you.
And that's my point, not once have I ever had to think about any of those things. Can you imagine how much easier you'd sleep at night if you never again had to think about MOTs, beaded seat covers, or AA membership? Wouldn’t life be so much nicer without sat-navs luring you onto railway tracks, overcharging mechanics secretly laughing at you, or Jeremy Clarkson? Oh, and the price of oil hit another record high today ($135 per barrel), by the way. Most worrying. Slightly less so if you don't have a car, of course.
Sorry, did that sound smug?
Well, imagine how much smugger it would have sounded if I'd had Jeremy Clarkson as a role model - I'm a mere amateur next to him. The insufferable, tight-jeaned, climate bothering, fluffy-headed perma-smirk…
Anyway, besides never having to knowingly watch Top Gear again, there remains one final deeply compelling reason for going car-less: directions bores. Your quickest journey between Catthorpe and Carlisle? So what. The fine details of avoiding that bottleneck by Tesco's? Go lick a sparkplug. Every train delay I've ever experienced will have been worth it, if I never again have to listen to one of you tedious little men (never women, for some reason). And at least with a train delay, you can get a book out.
Still not convinced of the joys of non-driving? Well, fair enough. But perhaps it might be worth reconsidering - a $200 barrel of oil by the end of the year, anyone?
About the Author
David John Martin. To save money as car costs raise you could start with your car insurance, try http://www.confused.com for insurance and finance.
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