Are You Ready to Stop Being Right and Start Being Happy?
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by: Auriela McCarthy
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Word Count: 670
We’ve all been there. Angry at our husbands or boyfriends for not helping around the house; seething because he’s watching TV while we’re staring down a sink of dirty dishes. Maybe dishes aren’t the problem in your house. Perhaps your trigger device is the pile of dirty socks, underwear and pants strewn on the floor. Or it could be the age-old divider of the sexes, the raised toilet seat. After all, isn’t that a flagrant way of showing that he has no regard for your feelings and he doesn’t appreciate you? Because that’s what all these household annoyances really mean, don’t they? Not exactly. And that’s why so many couples find themselves decimating their relationships over mundane issues.
Auriela McCarthy, relationship expert and author of the new book, “The Power of the Possible: A Book of Hope and Inspiration” has eye-opening insights about human behavior. The book features stories of hope, inspiration and transcendence—of hitting bottom and transforming into a different person on the way back up—shedding the past and the pain. “People become invested in their past, using it as a club to beat themselves up with or to excuse their reprehensible behavior; or simply because they don’t believe they can ever be emotionally free from the pain that their past has caused them,” says McCarthy. “Time doesn’t heal all wounds, but love can.”
McCarthy writes about relationships and crises in life that strike a universal chord. A child who always gets in trouble and the mother who always saves him. A woman who can’t deal with her fiance’s lack of tidiness. Another who struggles to get over her divorce. In those stories, she has the uncanny ability to pierce through the quagmire of emotional clutter, pinpoint the underlying causes for our behavior and teach us to heal our hearts—cutting to the core of the life-altering ‘a-ha’ moment and revealing how it happened.
McCarthy speaks to our desires to be understood and to be right; then eloquently teaches us how those driving forces destroy our relationships. She says the problem is we attach emotional significance to offending behavior. For example, if your husband hates washing dishes, it doesn’t reflect his feelings about you. But if you’re like most of us, you interpret his disdain for dishwashing as a lack of concern for your feelings. According to McCarthy, that’s a perfect time to bring the 4 principles of synergy into your relationship. To have synergy, the following four things must be present:
1.Everyone does his part while taking responsibility for the whole
2.Everyone does what he likes to do
3.Everyone does what he does well
4.Each person puts the relationship first
“I believe the fourth principle is the most important one—putting the relationship first,” says McCarthy. “If your relationship is the number one priority, then you can negotiate the smaller details like housework and distinguish between critically important issues and trivial concerns. And these four principles can be applied to any type of relationship- with family, friends, and in business.”
“The Power of the Possible” points out other life-changing ideas that can help us avoid common pitfalls. For example, how many of us are guilty of trying to change someone because we know what’s best? We talk until we’re blue in the face trying to convince the other person that she must change for her own good. McCarthy says in those instances, we need to change ourselves--not the other person. “Nothing changes until you do,” says McCarthy. “People change when they want to change. The more we insist, the more they resist. As long as we insist on changing someone we keep them from changing of their own free will. Let go of your demands and it is up to them. By not insisting—we have set them free and we’ve set ourselves free too.”
Available for pre-order on Amazon.
For more information visit www.AurielaMccarthy.com.
To see Auriela's blog visit www.ThePowerOfThePossible.Blogspot.com.
About the Author
Auriela McCarthy was born in Riga, Latvia (in the former Soviet Union). She escaped the iron curtain in 1980 and came to the United States with the status of political refugee. She taught English, sold art in art gallery and became a gallery director. After 5 years in the U.S., she opened her own art gallery in San Francisco with the U.S. premier exhibition from the estate of Pablo Picasso. A whirlwind of success followed, turning her into an art dealer with an international reputation and an expert on the art of Picasso. She curated and built one of the largest private collections of Picasso graphics in the world. Thus she became an American success story with a house with a view and what looked like a picture perfect marriage. But behind the bright façade lay conflict at home and memories of heartbreak and loss that had marked her early years in the Soviet Union: her parents’ horrendous divorce, her grandparents’ disappearance into hiding, life under continuous surveillance by the KGB and a mother-in-law from hell. Forced to leave her father behind, she never saw him again and was denied entry to the country even for his funeral. Auriela had her first spiritual awakening in 1987 resulting in a profound internal shift. She ended a troubled marriage, and closed the art gallery. Her entire perception of life had changed. Working as a private art dealer, she dedicated her life to internal reflection, meditation, and immersion into metaphysics. After 20 years she emerged– a spiritual teacher with a clear message of hope, compassion and understanding. Wherever she goes and whoever she meets - people open their hearts to her often within minutes, sharing their intimate secrets, looking for guidance and healing. For the last 15 years she has been helping people from all walks of life with their life and relationships issues. Those who have worked with Auriela always report the same experience. Something happens during their time together that is beyond words. What remains is the knowing: they have been changed; transformed at the core level of being. Auriela holds an M.A. in English and English Literature. The Power of the Possible is her first book in the series of three. She is also a contributing author in the upcoming anthology, “Peak Vitality: Raising the Threshold of Abundance in Our Material, Spiritual and Emotional Lives,” which features authors such as Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dyer, John Gray, Carolynne Myss, Eckhart Tolle, Alice Walker and Marianne Williamson. Peak Vitality is slated for release in November 2007.
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