How Birth Order Affects Us
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by: Garret Bolthouse50
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Word Count: 528
Are You Compatible?
The term opposites attract is really full of truth for some people. They keep their relationship hopping with their individual eccentricities and their chemistry may not always be based simply on physical attraction. As a matter of fact, this belief is becoming more and more accepted as people are discovering that being too much alike is making them feel like they are in competition. Renowned psychologist Kevin Leman has developed a personality compatibility test to help people see what their strengths are and what they should build their relationships upon before getting married, and give them a guide on what to fix if their marriage is having problems..
Holding a Bachelor’s, Master’s, and Doctorate in clinical psychology, Kevin Leman was one of the first to popularize concepts by Dr. Alfred Adler who believed people are influenced by their birth order. Leman has used this to build the test as well as write twenty-five novels covering just about every family aspect imaginable, from sex to marriage to child rearing to step-families. He has helped couples through marriage difficulties, hosts seminars and lectures, and is the host of RealityTalks, a television show that deals with many of these real life issues.
People who follow his advice ask potential partners what order they were born in in order to understand some of the basic traits they may be carrying, such as organization, manipulation, and loyalty. Issues between siblings can actually arise in a marriage and cause it to fail if people are not careful. Leman also advises not to let physical attraction cloud other factors that may or may not determine whether a couple is a good match. By being aware of these things, people can avoid harmful mistakes in their marriages.
Kevin Leman’s free test using the concepts behind birth order to help people avoid these costly and harmful mistakes. His research has been documented and proven that birth order influences how people act around on another and how we deal with problems. It also strongly influences behaviour around the opposite sex. These tests shows people their strengths, weaknesses, and patterns that are the most desirable to build a lasting relationship.
People will be very surprised to find that opposites do and can attract and be good in a marriage. Leman’s research has shown that people who are too similar will argue more and be in conflict with each other because they are actually competing with each other to a certain extent. A perfect match is someone that shares some interests, but not everything, and accepts and respects you for who you are, what you do, and where you are going in your life.
Anyone who has been having trouble in their relationships are encouraged by Dr. Leman to take the test with their spouse or significant other to see where the disconnects in the relationship really are. This information will help the couple see the problems and be able to seek out counselling to help fix them and save the relationship.
About the Author
Garret Bolthouse is the author of this article on Kevin Leman. Find more information about Dr. Kevin Leman's Parenting and Marriage Seminars here.
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